Four surprising habits that helped me survive New Zealand’s eight week lockdown.

In New Zealand, we were lucky to have a short lockdown (although it did not feel that way at the time). Nearly eight weeks of parenting the twins on my own while trying to keep them quiet so their dad could work 15 hours a day was challenging to say the least. There’s no other word to describe it. We were not allowed to go anywhere we had to drive to, so I had to walk the kids to our local park, which took a good 30 minutes or so with the little ones. Annnnd, despite kegels on clockwork (I set a reminder on my phone) through pregnancy, I still find that ten minutes after leaving the house I need to pee. Again. And of course, all the public toilets were closed. What was a busting mama to do? Argh. What a time to be alive right? 

But, through all the stress of lockdown and being a non-stop parent to frustrated and bored pre-schoolers I found that there were a few habits that kept me sane and a few lessons I learned that I intend to keep with me for the rest of my life. 

1. Get lit 

OK, I did not actually get lit during lockdown at all, but I did light a candle every night. I don’t know why lighting candles became such an important part of my day, but it was symbolic of dinner-time and (let’s be honest)… close to bedtime for the kids and thus my only break of each day. Whatever the reason, lighting a gorgeous candle at 5:30 pm was something that I began to do about halfway through lockdown and became something special to me that I have continued to this day. I used to only light candles on special occasions, but now I realise that every day is a special occasion, so light the candle – every day. 

2. Breathe, breathe, and breathe some more 

Obviously, we are breathing all the time, or we’d be six feet under, but most of us are unconscious in our breathing. From my experience with meditation and mindfulness, I have learned just how powerful our breath is. And the best thing about it: wherever we are it is right there with us. It is our tool to use at our disposal whenever we need it. And over lockdown, I needed it a lot. 

Feeling ratty at the kids? Take four deep calming breaths to engage the parasympathetic nervous system and get an instant sense of calm. 

Want to feel energised for the day? Follow Wim Hof Breathing Method (search YouTube for tutorials) 

Need to calm and destress? Close your eyes and take 5-20 minutes of focusing on your breathing. 

Incorporating mindfulness into your day? Take a few settling breaths whenever you do something new… even if it’s while washing the dishes or stepping outside. 

My breath has become an ever-constant anchor to a deep calm, focus and even increased patience. I even have a post-it stuck to the fridge to remind me to take deep breaths. Make it a mindful habit to be conscious of your breath and it will change your life.  

3. Just jump 

If you’re lucky enough to have a trampoline you may have watched your kids jumping and laughing on it. But have you jumped yourself? I swear that it’s impossible to be in a bad mood on a trampoline and it is So. Much. Fun. Not to mention one heck of a workout. If I’m finding myself a bit ‘over it’, I invite the kids onto the tramp for a dance party. We chuck some dance music on the stereo and we boogie until we drop. I swear it fixes a grumpy mood every time and the kids love it. I love that it takes me out of ‘bossy mum’ mode and puts me into ‘play mode’, which is really important to me. I want them to have more memories of me being fun than being stressed out and it’s the fastest way I can think of to get the good vibe endorphins going.  

4. Practice daily gratitude  

I went through a ‘woe is me’ patch during the initial phase of lockdown; I’d lost work contracts and I felt trapped and resentful. In fact, I got so stressed that I ended up with hives. But after a few days, I realised I needed to shift my perspective and that I still had so much to be grateful for: a cupboard full of food, birdsong in the garden, a clear blue-sky day, a comfortable bed. Making a mental note (or jot it in a journal) of three things that I was grateful for at the start of each day made a big difference to how I was feeling. Choose a time of day that works for you and make it a daily habit. Here’s a tip: really take the time to be present with the thought, sit with it, visualise what you are grateful for and feel that gratitude in your body. And better still, share the gratitude and encouragement with the people in your life. My partner and I like to do gratitude lists before bed and at dinner time I ask the kids, ‘Tell me something that made you feel happy today.’ Make gratitude a lifelong practice and you’ll never regret it.