If I ask you what you want your kids to be, chances are you’ll say ‘happy,’ right?

Of course, we want our kids to be happy. But let’s dig deeper.

First, there is a full spectrum of human emotions, of which happiness is just one. Second, it’s not possible to be happy all the time. One thing that is for sure in life is that we will all experience not-so-nice emotions like sadness, fear, disgust, anger, hurt, and shame on our life journey. In fact, we may encounter all these emotions in one day: that’s the beautiful challenge of being human. And that’s OK. In fact, it’s wonderful. There’s a line from a much-despised old movie that I actually enjoyed ‘Vanilla Sky’, where one of the characters played by Penelope Cruz states, ‘You can’t have the sweet without the sour.’ It really is true, imagine the monotony of a flat level of emotions every day? No thanks.

You can’t have the sweet without the sour. And why would you want to?

Here’s what I know:

• Our biggest mistakes often contain our most important lessons.

• When you fall, you must learn to pick yourself up again.

• If you are triggered you can be damn sure you’ve got some healing to do.
  
• Everyone experiences some level of trauma at varying degrees.
  
• A growing number of studies support the idea that the effects of trauma can reverberate down the generations through epigenetics.
  
• As much as we hope our children will never feel sadness, grief, frustration or anger, or be bullied or go through something traumatic, all of those things are part of the human experience. We owe it to them to prepare them, not shelter them.

So, you know what I want my kids to be?

I want them to be RESILIENT.

Resiliency will help them navigate all their emotions and have the coping skills to self-regulate when they need to. Mindfulness increases our resilience and steadiness, so we can be more at peace with life’s journey – even when a storm is on the horizon. 🌩

“A calm sea never made a strong sailor.”

Being mindful of our experiences and emotions increases our contentment and decreases the anxiety surrounding the arrival of unpleasant emotions. We learn to examine our feelings… We think: “Oh, I’m feeling dark. I wonder what caused this? What does it feel like in my body? Have I felt it before? What can I do to get through this?” Instead of: “Oh, I am feeling dark. What if I never feel better? I can’t cope! I’m weak. This isn’t normal!” *Cue panic mode* 😱

Plus, studies show that regular meditation increases our feelings of happiness and contentment and decreases stress, so it’s a win-win. 

Let’s give our kids the skills to be present with and accept a rainbow of human emotions in all their colourful glory. As a result, they become more resilient and increase their ability to be content. What more could we ask for?